


Harry In Wonderland

by larryoncraic



Category: Larry Stylinson - Fandom, One Direction
Genre: 1d, Fluff, M/M, larry - Freeform, one direction - Freeform, smut?, stylinson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-17
Updated: 2014-02-25
Packaged: 2018-01-12 19:35:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1196895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larryoncraic/pseuds/larryoncraic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry's not all there, everyone sees it and most people choose not to accept it. The 18 year old wealthy boy from Cheshire is bullied and confused, a lost cause. His whole life was changed when he found out the terrifying truth about himself, how would he even begin to recover?</p><p>"It's all in your head, Harry."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I've been trying to write this since summer but every time I go to post it I end up hating it and deleting everything so I decided to just screw it and post this. Sorry if the first chapter is horrible, the rest will be better I hope! Please like and comment if you want me to write more (: Here's preview video - http://tomlinsunny.tumblr.com/post/75646660332

Quiet tapping of pencils and the sound of 32 pairs of eyes blinking. Simple unnoticeable sounds to everyone else, but not harry, no, to harry those chewed on number two pencils are louder than fire alarms or a million girls at some boy band concert. He can't focus, and then they start talking, yelling almost screaming. At first harry just hears loud mumbled words, but then it's like he can hear every single word coming out of every single mouth. He doesn't realize he's pulling out his hair and biting his lip so hard it's bleeding. 

The room slowly starts to goes dark, "Harry?"

This happens at least once a week if not more. he hates them, those stupid idiotic kids who scream and laugh and make fun of him. Maybe it's childish to hate them, but Harry thinks its childish of them to bully him. You'd think being 18, Stan and Taylor and their group of ass holes would be mature enough to realize this is ridiculous. Harry wishes he had the guts to stand up to them or do anything to get them to stop, but unfortunately he's completely helpless and pathetic. they'd laugh their asses off if he even attempted to say something to them. He doesn't have friends to help him out, well there's a kid who sits next to him in his classes that's nice to him, he's not really sure if that means their friends. He's a little blonde Irish boy, he's got eyes that are brighter blue than the sky. Hes pretty sure his name is Niall, Harry thinks he's cute but not his type, yano because he's straight. Bummer. 

The 18 year old brunette hasn't ever found anyone or anything that he loves. He loves his mother and his sister, but no one else. Maybe that's because he's completely paranoid he won't be loved back. 

Harry goes to a therapist, he's not sure why but he guesses it's because of the head trauma he had a few months ago, although he doesn't even remember why he had trauma. Her name is Marilyn, she's nice to Harry and helps him on the days he has anxiety attacks and the days he just needs to talk. Harry is scheduled to see her Tuesdays and Thursdays, although he actually sees her almost every day. The emotionally broken boy has anxiety attacks and panics some times so he runs to see her. He doesn't really know why, just for comfort maybe?

~

 

His big mop of curls is draping over his forehead and bouncing all over the place as he sprints down the halls. The bells ran just a minute ago, he's rushing to get out that prison.

Harry runs home after school, he wishes he could take the bus but theres just too many voices and people, last time he rode it the people wouldn't stop screaming and he ended up passing out. But running helps him relax, he doesnt have to concentrate, and the wind blows through his curly chocolate colored hair. it helps his mind calm down. 

Harry calls his mum to ask her when she'll be home, unfortunately her phone doesnt even ring, it goes straight to her auto set voice mail. He walks into the oversized house that he calls home and flops down on the couch. He feels relaxed from running so he decides he'll try to nap. 

 

He has this horrid dream, but it's nothing he's unfamiliar with, he's seen it all before. It's starts off with him in a car driving somewhere, his mum in the front and Gemma in the back. Their talking, laughing about some lame old story his mother is telling them, he can hear a distinct clicking noise, it's Gemma fixing her seat belt. Suddenly, a semi comes out of no where and comes straight for the passenger side of the car, pieces of the front of if fly everywhere his hands instantly spin the wheel and cover his face and mother. then he wakes up, unsure of what happened to the three of them, and terrified it might come true. This horrendous dream sneaks into his head often, but it's not the only reoccurring dream he has. Harry dreams of his happy place. He finds himself walking down a street, hand intertwined with another. He looks to his right to see who this person might be, but the sun is blinding him from seeing his face. Once in awhile he'll dream of something else, random little things that mean nothing and don't effect him enough to remember it when he wakes up.

After he wakes from his nightmare, Harry goes into gemmas room to fall back asleep, her bed is much nicer than his and he likes talking to her after school. Gemma must be behind her changing divider because he cant see her when he walks in but shes says hello as soon as he does.

"Gemma are you going to prom next month?" Harry asks, laying down on gemmas bright pink queen sized bed. 

"Of course i am, harry. I have too, all the teachers assistants are working it. Toss me a different dress, this one is absolutely hideous. " harry stands up and searches through his sisters drawers. He has quite an eye for good fashion. 

"I dont think ill go." Harry sighs.

"What?! Why not, thats absurd, you have to go its your senior prom, you cant miss it! Youre insane if you don't, I cant believe you would even-"

"Gemma, i cant. Everyone at school hates me and even if they didnt it wouldnt matter, i don't find any of the /girls/ attractive." harry bites his lip, he shouldn't have said it that way, it sounded like he's attracted to people just not the girls, even though that is true he's definitely not ready to confess.

"Well ask a boy than." She offers in such a positive voice it seems as if she sees no problems at all with that option. This takes harry by surprise.

"Not possible. Im gonna nap, okay?" He says to avoid further conversation.

"Sure, ill be downstairs." He closes his eyes and hears her walk off.

~

There's voices, yelling this at him telling him it's his fault, telling him he's insane, telling him to kill himself. His eyes open and he jumps up from the bed, he starts shaking his head, panics and runs out the door as fast as he can. Before he knows it he's on a park bench, gasping for air as he is completely winded. His vision is still blurry, so he lays on the bench and stares at the sky.

Harry doesnt know how many minutes or hours he stayed there, he only knows he watched the sun and the moon switch places in the sky. 

Harry goes to school the next day feeling like a zombie. His head and back hurt from the bench and his hair is disgusting. Lucky he had an extra shirt in his locker, it doesnt totally match his pants but it'll work. Harry sits in class trying to pay attention, he hates how everyone talks when the teacher is. He cant listen, he cant focus but he cant do anything about it. His head feels like its gonna explode and people are staring. The bell's gonna ring for lunch in just 10 minutes, he can do it.

His foot starts tapping as he gets impatient, he can actually hear the little click noise the clock makes ever second. The brunette shoves his frustrated face into his hands and tries to calm down. It doesnt work. His head hurts, his palms are sweaty and his feet are now kicking the wall next to him. He bites on his top lip, surely leaving a red mark. Tired, anxious eyes look up at the ticking clock,

9 minutes.

He cant do it, his rage is out of control everyone just keeps getting louder, and their all talking about him. He gets up from his chair so fast the girl next to him's papers fly off her desk. His trembling hands manage to pick up his things and he runs out of the room. He heads straight for the bathroom, he can feel it in his stomach and in his throat. Not a second after the door swings open his things fall to the floor and his hands are clutching a sink as his skinny figure hunches over it.

Every bit of his last couple meals completely drained from his body. He runs water to get it cleaned out. He cant help but feel weak, so he sits on the floor and pulls his knees to his chest and rests his head against the wall. The door swings open but harry doesnt bother to open his eyes to see who it is. But he doesnt have to look, that low villainous chuckle is all he needs to identify him. 

"Youre not suppose to throw up in the sink, schiz. Youre suppose to do it in the toilet, do you know where that is?" He kicks the boy on the floor, the question obviously isnt for real so he doesnt respond. "No? Hmmm guess ill just have to show ya then" his god awful lips turned into the most demonic smile he'd ever seen. 

Harry tried to get up and run but he was thrown to the floor by the new guy, Liam. Harry sighs, yet another person to torture him, great. Stan pulls harry by the collar of his shirt to the nearest stall.

"No.. no please! Stop! Help!" He screamed, hoping someone, anyone would hear him. Stan laughs again, pulling out a used roll of grey duck tape from his bag and ripping a piece off before shoving it over harrys mouth. Liam opens the toilet for Stan as he grabbed the back of harry's locks, shoving his face into the bowl. Over and over again, harry was nearly drowning, vile water filled his mouth and his nose. it burned his eyes and made him feel like puking again.

"All this dunking really works up an appetite, wheres your lunch schiz?"  
Harry mumbled behind the tape, trying to scream out. "Ah found it, pb&j and a bag of doritos? Awwwh look at that the crust are cut off, did you do thay yourself schiz? I know your mum didnt." The pair of ass holes laughed loudly. Harry was in tears trying to get out of Liam's grasp, luckily it probably just looks like toilet water dripping from his soaked hair. "What else do you have in here?" Stan dug through harrys school things and pulled out a black sharpie.

Liam tugged the scared boy's hair down so his facd was at a good angle for Stan to use it as a sketch pad. "Two minutes until the bell, Stan," the new kid warned. Harry could feel the cold tip of the permanent marker run across his forehead.

The bell sounded and Liam dropped harrys head, the two walked out laughing. Harry pulled himself to his feet and dragged himself to the mirror. He ripped the tape of his mouth as tears rolled down his cheeks. His hair dripped onto his clothes and his forehead read out that stupid nickname.

"Schiz."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is kinda blah I'm sorry the next chapter is where the story really begins (;

Harry pretty much takes care of himself, with Gemma at uni most of the time or being a teachers assistant at his college, he doesn't have her around much to help him out with things. His mother is hardly ever home, to be honest harry doesn't remember the last time they had a face to face conversation. It's okay though, he understands, he wishes they were all closer like they used to be but people change and families grow apart sometimes, he gets it. 

Harry's at home now, making spaghetti for himself and watching the bachelor. He's sat on the couch with a glass of ice water for the pills he has to take. They were prescribed to him when he had the head trauma a 2 months ago, their suppose to stop him from getting headaches and having bad dreams, or something like that. After taking a big swig of water and forcing the pill down his throat, he sat back and continued watching his show. Once he finished his meal and washed his dish he grabbed his coat and headed out the garage door to see Marylin. In his garage is the most beautiful black Audi you've ever seen, bran new, not a scratch on it. Harry doesn't recall ever driving it but he has somewhat of a memory of sitting in it with someone. He stood there wondering if he should drive it or not, after a minute of thinking he decided otherwise and grabbed his bike.

"So today I want to talk about self esteem. I know you deal with kids at school who don't treat you very well, so just that tells me your self esteem is not a good as it should be. Tell me what you like and dislike about yourself, dislike first." Marylin folds her arms across her chest and waits for Harry to think and respond.

"Can we just do what I like about myself? Because that list would be a lot shorter and take a lot less time." 

She sighs, "no we're going to do both."

Harry looks down at his lap and toes and anything that isn't Marylin while he speaks,"I don't like my smile, or my ears, I don't like my feet, I hate my nose. I can't stand how I pick out flaws in everything I do, and I hate that I'm awkward and that I'm scared to stand up for myself," Harry lets out a defeated sigh and continues," I just really hate my personality in general.. Can we move on? Please?"

She leans forward to lift Harry's chin-up, "It's okay, tell me what you like now."

It takes him even longer to respond to this, "I can't think of anything." 

She starts flipping through her papers, "well by looking at your grades, I'd say you're very smart, all your teachers had nice things to say about you. That's gotta be something you like about yourself, isn't it?" 

"yeah, It was." 

 

~~~

Harry gets to school ten minutes earlier than everyone else, as usual, and heads to his locker to get his books.

"That sweatshirt is not cute, harry."

He sighs, wondering why his sister cares what he wears and why she's not in her classroom. "what's wrong with it?

"You haven't washed it in weeks, you wore it yesterday and it's ripped in the back." Harry starts turning in circles trying to find the hole. "Wear something that doesn't look like you dug it out of the dumpster tomorrow, okay?" She laughs and harry hears her heels clacking away. He goes back to putting in his combination which Gemma had distracted him from, 12-23-7, the locker opens and he straightens his hunched back. He pulls the door open further only for it to be slammed shut.

"Oops." Stan really knows how to make a day worse before it even starts. Harry's so tired he can feel it weigh down his bones, as if they have been replaced with steel. God, he wishes he could sleep for a couple of days. Unfortunately, he can't, it's Wednesday and he has corse work that's due Friday. He's got quite a bit of it done and his teacher gave him an extension due to his condition, whatever the hell that meant. He didn't complain though, he needs that extra 3 days more than he needs more than the 5 hours of sleep he's getting every night.

The first half of the day goes by slowly as usual, he works on his coursework, well not really, mostly he just doodled on the pages of his rough drafts and listened to music. The day gets closer to ending and harry couldn't have been more grateful, he was almost joyful at the lack of miserableness in his day, until his teacher tells the class they're changing seats. This wouldn't be such a horrible thing if it wasn't for the fact they were to pick who they sat next too. Most of the students were excited and jumpy, pulling at their friends arms to get a good seat near the back next to each other. Harry on the other hand, sat in the first empty seat he saw, two back from the front and next to an empty desk. 

"Can I sit with you?" Harry looks up, it's the little blonde Irish boy, he's holding all his things and nearly dropping his books. Harry says yes mainly because he doesn't want to see the poor kid try to run around the class looking for another empty seat and drop everything.

"Niall," he puts his hand out to shake Harry's.

"I know, you sit behind me in Spanish, I'm harry." He shakes his hand awkwardly.

"Oh see I didn't think you'd remember that because you're pretty quiet and you don't really talk to me.. or anyone. Oh geez, was that rude? I didn't mean to- I'm sorry maybe I should just-"

"It's okay, you're fine." He tries to give him a sympathetic smile, it's nice that this Niall kid is trying to make an effort to talk to harry, no one else does. The problem is Harry's not too good at making friends and he doesn't feel the need to have any. He figures, the less people he loves, the less he looses. 

"You going to the football match later?" He turned to look at harry, he was just beaming with happiness for what seemed to be no reason at all.

Harry sits there thinking for a minute, he hadn't been to a game in ages but then again he wasn't all that interested in football, he liked American football more. "Umm.. Yeah." It comes out as more of a question rather than a statement, maybe because he's not really all that sure he wants to go.

Niall doesn't seem to notice, "cool, so sit by me in the stands then, yeah?" Harry thought about it for a second before nodding, this would be good for him, maybe Niall and him will be like friends? "I usually sit near the food truck, yano 'cause easy access to food and bathrooms plus there's a good view of the cheerleaders.. and our goal." He was clearly more enthusiastic about the cheerleaders.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh btw my twitter is @pinapplou and my tumblr is tomlinsunny.tumblr.com if ya wanna follow me thatd be cool (;   
> PLEASE LIKE THIS IF YOU UM LIKED IT HA K BYE  
> (i dont proof read too carefully sorry)

The whole place was loud and smelled of fish sticks and sweat, people were in the stands and walking around the food trucks, laughing and making bets on the teams. I'd never been to one of the games, football wasn't one of my favorite things, I mean I enjoy certain football players.. But not so much the crowd and the hype. Niall was nowhere in sight, I was kind of running around frantically looking for him, probably looked like a fucking idiot but what else is new.

"Harry!" thank god. "Hey, we're over here, you know Cara and Cher, yeah?" He grabbed my shoulder and led us to the two girls in the stands who I assumed were them.

"no but okay, so how does this whole thing work?"

He seemed confused, "football? Um they kick the ball around and try to get it in the goal? It's really not the compli-"

"No no, I mean like what do we do at these games?" I probably seemed so stupid, why was this kid even talking to me? I'm a complete idiot.

"Oh yeah just cheer when they get a goal, and go along with the cheers we have, they're a little weird but they're fun, trust me" he smiled and introduced me to the girls, they were both gorgeous. One had short dark brown hair and looked about 5 feet tall. And the other, cara, had long blonde hair a eyebrows worth remembering, she was also very skinny and seemed a lot like Niall.

A whistle blew and the players started going at it, it was hard to keep up with who had the ball and who was doing what. Cher was cuddled up to Niall when we were sitting, but when things got exciting Niall would jump up and nearly knock her out. Cara talked the game through with me explaining how points worked and how the guys could do that cool thing where they hit the ball off their head. At one point of the game cara was leaning on my shoulder acting like a flirty best friend, it made me worry a little that she might have a thing for me and that would have been very uncomfortable to explain why she's not my type. But she clearly could sense I felt that way and we reassured me she wast flirty, actually she has a girlfriend at a different school.

The game wasn't as horrid as I expected, the loudness of the crowd drowned out the loudness of my thoughts. Me and cara continued talking, she was quite weird but very nice. Niall was very into all the cheers the crowd did, I tried to follow along but I guess I just don't really have that school spirt thing going for me.

"I'm gonna go talk to my friend, he's on the team, do you wanna come with or stay here?" I wasn't about to stand there alone and wait for him, so I followed like a little lost puppy. Niall ran over to his friends "Dylan man that was sick!" I didn't want to seem weird and ease drop on his conversation so I went off to get a drink at the fountain. Unfortunately there was an over lovey dovey couple making out right next to it. As gross as they were, I had to admit I was kind of jealous. I mean who does have a girlfriend or a boyfriend or even friends here? Not that I'm not okay with being alone, it's just I don't like feeling alone. I turned away from the couple and started walking back to niall with my head down.

"Oops!"

/fuck I must've ran into someone fuck fuck fuck don't make eye contact don't even look up just apologize and walk away. "Sorry, my bad." God dammit why did I look up/

I couldn't decide if looking up was the worst thing possible that could have ever happened to me, or the best. The boy who stood in front of me had eyes like the ocean, blue and deep and absolutely mesmerizing. He stood about 3 inches shorter than me, with a petite figure, yet he had undeniable curves. He flicked his milk chocolate colored hair to the side of his perfectly tanned face and smiled at me. I felt the wind being knocked out of me at the sight of his gorgeous smile, it felt as shivery as seeing snow for the first time but as warm as feeling the sun on your skin on the first day of summer. He laughed at my starring, a beautiful laugh that sounded like angels singing.

"I'm louis."


End file.
